Making Routines That Work for Everyone

Family life can be busy. Between school runs, work, meals, and everything else, it often feels like there are never enough hours in the day. That’s why routines can make such a difference. They’re not meant to lock us into a strict schedule, but to create a gentle rhythm that helps everyone know what to expect and makes the day flow a little easier.

Every family is different - what works well in one household might feel overwhelming in another. The aim is not to build a “perfect” routine but to find something that feels manageable, flexible, and supportive for your family. We’ve put together some strategies to help build routines that work for you!

Why are routines helpful?

Having a routine gives children (and adults) a sense of security. When they know what is coming next, it can lower stress and help things run more smoothly. For children and adults that struggle with transitions, routines can:

• Encourage independence by helping them learn what’s expected of them.

• Make transitions easier, like moving from playtime to dinnertime.

• Build confidence when they succeed at small steps like brushing their teeth before bed.

• Take away some of the daily battles over simple tasks.

How to Build a Routine That Fits Your Family

1. Start with one part of the day

Pick a time that usually feels challenging, like mornings or bedtime, and create a flow for that period before adding more. Break down what a normal day looks like, and consider what you’d like it to include.

When adding new tasks to a routine, add it to the beginning or end of an already established routine - it's easier to build on a familiar routine than to start something new!

2. Include everyone

Ask for ideas from the whole family. Children often come up with helpful suggestions, and when they feel involved, they are more likely to stick with the plan.

3. Make it visual

Charts, pictures, or simple checklists can be a great way to help kids (and adults) remember what comes next. We have a free routine board resource available here - Free Visual Schedule Template for Kids and Teens

4. Be flexible

Life isn’t always predictable - sometimes dinner is late, or plans change. A good routine is one that bends when it needs to without falling apart. Having a visual routine or social story can help with preparing for and communicating these changes.

5. Celebrate small wins

Noticing and praising effort helps routines feel positive! A smile, a sticker, or a simple “great job” can make children feel proud of their progress.

Finding the Balance

The key to a routine that lasts is balance. Too strict and it feels stressful. Too relaxed and it doesn’t really work. Try focusing more on the order of events than the exact time - for example:

• Dinner, then bath, then story, then bed works whether dinner happens at 5.30 or 6.15.

• Snack, then homework, then playtime can still happen even if the bus gets home late.

This way your family keeps a sense of structure without feeling tied down.

Routines are not about perfection, they are about creating a sense of calm and predictability that helps everyone feel supported. What matters most is finding something that feels natural for your household. Start small, be flexible, and remember that progress is more important than getting it right every time.

The best routine is the one that works for your family.